why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
