She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
