"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
