OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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