you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
