don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
