Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Randomize
