Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
