I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
