i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
