I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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