shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
