I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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