I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
