apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize