You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
