Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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