why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
high people should be assigned attendants
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
