its not stalking. its research.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
