Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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