I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We have so much sex to catch up on
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
