I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize