I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
