just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
