i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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