The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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