party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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