everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i love accidental penises.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
