just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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