so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
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Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
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Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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