do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
