bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
