sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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