Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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