So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
