they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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