Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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