I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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