Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
it hurts more in the daytime
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
that may or may not have been my penis.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
