She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
