He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
