i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize