Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
