I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
