I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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