You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize