and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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