I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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