I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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