a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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