my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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