she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
