Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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