My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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