Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
