Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
