I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
