I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
