Kiss
Puke
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
