Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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