i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
