If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
